Pingu macht Problem

Bad news

2008-06-10T23:01:15Z

We had to put Ernie to sleep today. I talked about why and suchhere and here. Long story short: He got cancer again, this time inside his intestines. It was inoperable and if we kept him around he'd starve to death because he was incapable of eating at all. He was very, very sick and such.

Read the other entries if you want more detailed info because right now I really don't feel up to writing again. We're both pretty depressed around here.

mia_d @ 2008-06-05T09:26:00

2008-06-05T14:28:11Z

Zartan totally ate one of these and got SO SICK last weekend

I was all HMM MAYBE I SHOULD HAVE SOME TOMATO but I was then all NAH WHATEVS I'LL HAVE QUINOA WITH LEMON JUICE AND ZUCHINNI and I made the right choice

Zartan's all better now but still, Salmonella! On Tomatoes!

xposted: The No Spin Crane Project: Intro

2008-06-01T01:34:08Z

Apologies to everyone that read this elsewhere:

Last month I mentioned getting this Bill O' Reilly book and asking what we should do with it. After much thought and consideration (and even more thought about compassion and humanity) I've decided to do something that I will either regret or love: I'm turning the book into folded paper cranes.

When I'm bored or when I'm fiddling with things, I'll usually lazily fold paper cranes out of scrap paper in my purse. I've made them out of candy wrappers, old reciepts, and even beer labels. I can make them of all sorts of different sizes, and I can pump them out pretty quick.

Out of a ton of contemplation and reading lately, I've come to realize that a lot of people whose ideas and words and influence I despise usually have serious problems. Instead of hating people I've come to not just pity but understand. So I was watching that clip of Bill O' Reilly flipping out during inside edition, and then some more videos of him fliping out on youtube and I realized that he has a serious anger problem. An unusual, very real anger problem.

And I feel BAD for him. I don't WANT him to be angry, I don't want anyone to be so angry. So I'm folding these cranes and sending them to him, not just as a symbol of goodwill but as a wish that maybe he'll find his own inner peace one day. I don't know if he'sbeen diagnosed or anything but I honestly think maybe he needs SOMETHING to help. Me writing an angry letter will accomplish nothing, while me being kind and telling him I hope he finds his own inner peace at least is kind. Who knows, maybe seeing that one of his enemies (I'm a liberal UU christian who is pro-choice and supports gay marriage) doesn't hate him but wishes him good luck he'll realize that we're not so bad.

I know in my heart that the only response I'll probably get is either a berating on air or a nice little return letter saying "THANK YOU FOR YOUR INTEREST" and a brochure. But it doesn't hurt to try!

Current Crane total: 15

Spritle and Naughtiness

2008-05-20T01:18:36Z

We found this cat today, dirty and with a terrible collar burn. His owners, who live beneath us, have left without a trace a while back and he has nowhere to go. He's been to the vet and got a clean bill of health, so he's staying here for a while. We tried to locate the owners by calling and even talking with the landlords, but they're straight up gone.

We also gave him his shots and checked him for a microchip (he didn't have one). He's already been fixed so that's a load off my mind.

Celiac Awareness Month

2008-05-14T19:09:24Z

Happy Celiac Awareness Month.

For Celiac awareness month my body has decided that it would be awesome to be secretly "glutened" and spend a whole week in stomach pain and problems.

HOWEVER I shouldn't post this to bitch because I think Celiac Awareness is a sort of big deal. One in a hundred people have celiac, but the majority of sufferers are never diagnosed. Prisons don't offer Gluten-Free meals, and millions of homeless people who have no way of being diagnosed are getting sicker and sicker. Undiagnosed, Celiac is pretty much the worst thing ever. Undiagnosed Celiac can lead to cancer, severe (SEVERE) immune system problems, osteoperosis, type 1 diabetes, and any immune disorder linked to Malabsorption.

It usually takes people years to get properly diagnosed, and the stories of people taking so many sick days because of celiac symptoms and thusly losing their jobs are numerous. I'm one of them. I took too many sick days when I worked at GM because of what I know now as severe "gluten" attacks and because of the fact I always had the cold (because my body couldn't absorb vitamins).

Those hardest hit by lack of diagnoses are the poor and the homeless. When your food options are those given to you at the soup kitchen or the food bank, you can't be choosy. So many undiagnosed celiacs are being fed meals that just make them feel sicker and sicker because there's no other option. Children, especially children, are hurt by this the most since malabsorption as a child can lead to a host of horrible disorders and diseases.

Celiac awareness is pretty good on the internet and in middle/upperclass families. However, millions of people are suffering with it and have no idea. There's NO education programs for those who live below the poverty line, and some of the cheapest and easiest food to find in the world is filled with gluten. I was going to try to find a charity that donates gluten-free food to poor people but I can't find any.

Ghost Ride: Grandma

2008-05-07T18:53:02Z

I can not believe I've finally found a combination of my two favorite things ever. It even had the Longhorn Grandma sticker on it, which I also have somewhere.

This was made just for me I fucking swear

XXX-POSTED

2008-04-27T23:46:55Z

Guess which game I finished?

Make no mistake: I'm a pretty easy-going lady when it comes to shovelware games. Hell, I even had fun playing the Bratz Ponyz game, which had this lovely laid-back soundtrack and some gorgeous graphics. It does take a LOT to get me to curse at a video game, and the last ds game I played that made me say BAD WORDS was "Homie Rollerz"

Don't be fooled by the official trailer! They don't even SELL this game at "Best Guy". Also, Best Guy doesn't exist. STILL! don't be fooled.

Cory in the House, for those who want to know, is about Cory in the White house. It's a spinoff from "That's So Raven" and he's like raven's brother? I don't really know or care! Anyway! Cory's father is the official cook for the President, Something Martinez. He lives in the white house or something, and he has this band with these two kids from high school or middle school or whatever. One of them is this blond surfer dork and the other's this broad from a foreign country and her dad's an ambassador and there are plenty of "laffs" to be had about the crazy ways of her homeland! FUNNY. There band's called DC3 and Cory is always trying to make money and whatever, that's Cory in the House.

The ad is not telling the truth. This game has no fun. Ever. The Plot? There's some fucking bobble head dolls Cory made for this contest and he sells them to people at the mall and then the bobbleheads hypnotize everyone and whatever and Cory and his friends have to save the day or something, I don't fucking know. You also have a magic PDA and like some cia weapons and exploding muffins.

Each """episode""" consists of you doing this really weird sequence of selecting paths to go down and then wandering around stopping people and trying to save the day or whatever. Then you go home and do this absolutely AWFUL Oendan/Elite Beat Agents style rhythm game. It's EXACTLY like Oendan/EBA. EXACTLY. Except, you know, it's not in any sort of rhythm and it goes on and on and it's also not fun.

While the rest of the game is dull and derivative, it does have ONE unique feature that I have Never ever EVER seen in a game:

It has a LAUGH TRACK

I'm not joking at all, during the cut scenes where the characters talk back and forth there's a LAUGH TRACK whenever someone makes a joke. Every. Single. Time. And one time when there wasn't even a joke at all! Not only does it have the typical laugh track laugh, it has the SOMEONE JUST MADE A JOKE AFTER THE JOKE WHOOOHAHAHA YEAH CLAP CLAP laugh for when something's especially """"funny"""".

A LAUGH TRACK.

I'll wrap up this review with some QUICK POINTS

*The blond kid constantly talks about hearing voices in his head. I guess it's because he's supposed to be Ditzy but I think I'm at a point in my life where seeing signs of schizophrenia as a sort of character gag as a bit terrible!

*The President's daughter sold all of Cory's dolls for a new phone and Cory had to get them back. What a bitch, man. Cory probably can't tell anyone about it because it's the president's daughter and like, you can't hit her for being a bitch because she's the president's daughter.

*Apparently in the Coryverse there's a show/game called KUNG FU KATS.

*This game took about three-four hours to beat, tops.

*I hate this game

RATING: D

for

DURRR I'M CORY HERE'S MY BIG FAT HEAD I SURE LIKE TO MAKE MONEY HURR DURR SPEND THE MONEY IN THE GAME ON UPGRADING WEAPONS OR BUYING ME CLOTHING

GIVE ME YOUR MONEY

I'M CORY

CORRRRYYYYYY AND HIS FAT HEAD IN THE FAT HOUSE

mia_d @ 2008-04-27T18:37:00

2008-04-27T23:38:01Z

What should we do with this shitty book?

THE BIG SALE

2008-04-16T20:33:47Z

Money's really tight around here, so I'm gonna try to sell a bunch of my old comics and shit that I don't read anymore to help pay for health crap and dumb specific expensive medicine food and all that jazz.

COMICS:

Box Office Poison (paperback): $10
Crayon Shin-chan Volumes 1-8: $4 each or $25 for all of them
Even a Monkey can draw Manga: $8
Lupin III volumes 2, 4 and 5: $15 for all
Clamp Detectives Volume 1: $4
Rumic Theater one or nothing: $4
Little Lit: $10

BOOK books:

Too Good to Be True: The Colossal Book of Urban Legends: $10

I'll see what else I can sell, but here's a good start! Comment if you're interested in anything

This is important

2008-04-11T16:44:04Z

Petition to stop Eddie Murphey from making any more movies

because seriously

MULTIPLICATION AND JOKES

2008-04-07T19:17:50Z

I posted the rest of the hip hop multiplication videos as an entry in Pacific Novelty. It's great, check them out RIGHT NOW

Also oh my goodness I don't think any of you aside from two or three clicked on the link in my last journal on April 1st. You really, really should have

Some thoughts on Ducktales

2008-04-01T22:21:58Z

SURE Launchpad is REAL STUPID!

How many of the following statesments are true?

He knows how to fly a plane ( including jets- including one he couldn't SEE- the flight suit must of allowed it's pilot to see the invisible jet and Launchpad wasn't wearing it)

and YOU don't.

He knows how to fly a helicopter (which I hear is VERY difficult.) And was that huge helicopter in "Treasure of the Golden Suns" that Launchpad flew a VTOL? A Vertical Take- Off and Landing craft? Launchpad is also flying a VTOL in "Ali Bubba's Cave". If Launchpad knows how to fly one of those babies, no way is he anything remotely resembling stupid. Sorry, wrong number. Wrong area code. Wrong PLANET.)

and YOU don't.

He knows how to steer a speed-boat, pilot a sub, and fly a rocket ship.

And YOU don't.

And NOT ONE WORD ABOUT CRASHES DO I WANT TO HEAR BECAUSE I DON'T BELIEVE IT! We're talking about Launchpad McQuack , who once landed a plane on top of an train (Armstrong) , who in "Ducktales" comic # 5, landed a plane on an ordinary rooftop!!! Which is hard enough in a helicopter, let alone a plane!

And I'm supposed to believe he can't land safely anyplace he likes? SURE. Like the world's richest duck is going to hire a pilot to fly himself and his heirs around if said pilot ain't the best there is. OF COURSE!

He can fix a plane. He can even build a plane. Even Disney admits Launchpad build the Thunderquack.(And it only took him a year to do it. I suspect it takes Beoing a year to build a plane from the time it's designer gets the idea till the first one rolls off the assemble line.)And the Thunderquack is a very impressive (if stupid looking) piece of hardware. Not to mention the Sunchaser- which now hangs in a museum as the FIRST PLANE TO FLY TO AND FROM THE CENTER OF THE EARTH!!!! And how can you build a plane without first designing a plane? At least inside your own head, if not on blueprints? And using blueprints is probably easier.

SURE Launchpad is REAL STUPID! NOT!!!!!

By the way, Launchpad can sure think up jazzy names for planes, can't he? Like the Joyrider, his favorite bi-plane. And the preformentioned Sunchasher and Thunderquack. And you do realize it had to be Launchpad's evil counterpart from the Negaverse who designed the fancy chopper Negaduck flew? (Not to mention teaching him to fly silly thing!)Designing and building a helicopter has GOT to be harder- and require even more brains- than designing a plane. If Launchpad's "evil twin" has that kind of brains, so does my Launchpad.

What Launchpad is:

Disorganized- YES!

Scatter-brained- Definetely!

A little flakey- Yup.

And if you haven't figured out by now that I know what it's like to be disorganized, scatter-brained and a little flakey, BOY, are YOU slow on the uptake!

mia_d @ 2008-04-01T15:34:00

2008-04-01T20:34:14Z

It's perfectly OK with me if YOU like any of these. Or all of them. You're entitled.

1. Pokemon, Yoogeoo, that sort of thing...You'd think with the flash cards and the names and dates and stuff to remember it would be too much like school. Kids love it. I don't get it.

2. The Simpsons. Wildly popular. Also vulgar, stupid and in very bad taste. Don't get it.

3. The x-men . Lots of human-bashing going around, I happen to be human. Lot of fuss about them being able to do things most people can't. My sister, Julia can touch her nose with her tongue: does that make her a mutant? Don't get it.

Stuff that is very popular that (in my humble opinion) was only funny ONCE:

Honey I shrunk the kids

Buffy the Vampire Slayer

Shriek

mia_d @ 2008-04-01T13:00:00

2008-04-01T18:00:34Z

I've invented a new game: the Woman who would have a BETTER chance of becoming President than Hillary Clinton game. Try to think of woman who would have a better chance than Hillary of getting into the Oval Office.

Just About Anybody

Judge Judy

Mary Tyler Moore

Sally Field

Don't you GET it, Hillary? It's NOT because you're a woman. We don't LIKE you.

mia_d @ 2008-04-01T11:12:00

2008-04-01T16:12:53Z

50% of all marriages in the US end in divorce- or do they?

Judge Judy and others have quoted the much-quoted statistic that says that 50% of all marriages in the US end in divorce. I feel compelled to point out how misleading and meaningless this statistic COULD be.

I DO NOT KNOW THIS FOR A FACT, I'M JUST ASKING

DOES IT COUNT:

1. People who got married in 1990 or earlier. A group of people MOST LIKELY TO STAY MARRIED.

2. Immigrants who got married BEFORE moving to the US. A group of people MOST LIKELY TO STAY MARRIED.

3. People who live in US but got married elsewhere.

Descendant of Immigrants who got married in the 'old country' so friends and relatives left behide could attend.

Armed Service people who married overseas because that was where he/she/both were serving.

Anybody else who married outside of US because it was cheaper, easier, romantic, whatever.

5. Religious People, who because of their beliefs married without a license. (Which is probably illegal, but I bet the authorities look the other way, sometimes.)

A group of people MOST LIKELY TO STAY MARRIED.

6.People who live in small or mid-sized towns where the local county or district issued the license. SHOULD have been counted. Did the snobs doing this survey bother? I, a city dweller, know how most city dweller look down on people who live in more rural areas. A group of people MOST LIKELY TO STAY MARRIED.

mia_d @ 2008-04-01T09:28:00

2008-04-01T14:29:01Z

DVDs vs. VCR Tapes

I have both a DVD player and a VCR.
I LIKE THE VCR BETTER! It records. I'd need a DVR to do that, and they're expensive and the discs are more expensives than tapes.

And I don't CARE what the DVD people say, the tapes last longer. I have 15, 16 year old tapes that work just fine. I have 15, 16 MONTH old discs with parts I can't watch due to skips.

Discs have some advantages. The DVDS are easy to mail (and cheaper), easier to store and carry.

I'm in no hurry to give up on my VCR, thank you very much.

Mister X

2008-03-24T20:54:44Z

WRONG

ALL WRONG

Brief internet hiatus and a Pacific Novelty Teaser

2008-03-14T16:46:23Z

I've got a bunch of stuff goin' on lately so I'm gonna take a brief internet sabbatical while I get some things together. Don't worry, I'm not going to be gone for like forever and I'm going to still be working on commissions (jesso, I sent yours and icarus I need your address!)

HOWEVER: I will not leave you guys empty handed! Here's part one of what is going to be the most hilarious, most completely goddamn AWESOME Pacific Novelty update in the history of the internet!

You're doing yourself a disservice if you just scroll past this. This is quite possibly the most awesome/hilarious thing I've seen over the past two years.

mia_d @ 2008-03-13T20:59:00

2008-03-14T02:00:08Z

COMING SOON

EDIT: I'm not pregnant, don't worry. This is just an announcement to something AWESOME that you're all going to experience VERY soon

mia_d @ 2008-03-09T09:41:00

2008-03-09T14:43:21Z

I stayed up late last night with zartan and we got a copy of Smash Brothers around midnight. We had to go into this terrible fucking gamestop with the worst dolts of all time. I REMEMBER NOW REASON NUMBER 3 I HATED WORKING THERE! NERDS!

So ok the two people working the register were all right but the manager was fucking NERD CITY. And I mean I'm a nerd, I have no problem with nerds and I sort of have a nerd fetish (and by sort of I mean I have one). This SUPER DUPER nerd up at the front of the line was discussing video games (and by discussing I mean talking as if he were on a gamefaqs message board) and he mentioned that he hates madden (shock!).

The manager behind the counter, this bearded little dolt with glasses, goes "MADDEN IS THE NUMBER ONE GAME IN THE WORLD, MY FRIEND"

Yes, yes he did and yes I laughed forever.

MY FRIEND

you are not on the internet you can not talk like that unless you want me to throw you through a window

We got the game and brought it home and then drank ENERGY DRINKS (ok we drank STEVEN SEAGAL'S LIGHTNING BOLT ENERGY DRINK and yes it totally exists and yes it is pretty ok)

ANYWAY here's our code!

1633-3846-8220

EDIT: our profile name is P.Nov

tell us yours and we'll set you up

(so I can kick your ass)

(the joke is that I'm not very good at this game but I love to posture)

mia_d @ 2008-02-29T20:29:00

2008-03-01T02:30:11Z

I hope you're all prepared because it's SAPP TIME

MOVIE QUOTE MEME: HARDEST EDITION

2008-02-19T17:24:27Z

xposted from elsewhere, but I think you guys will be better at guessing these

1. Pick 15 of your favourite movies.
2. Go to IMDb and find a quote from each movie.
3. Post them here for everyone to guess.
4. Fill in the film title once it's guessed.
5. NO GOOGLING/using IMDb search functions to answer!

also a ton of movies I love don't have quotes on the IMDB so you're REALLY gonna have to guess at some of these WEIRD FILMS (also zartan I know you know the first one but NO TELLING >:( ) I think this might be the hardest version of the meme anyone's done because my taste is so BONKERS

1) Raspara is registered in the VUE Directory as an accredited sufferer of Dreams-of-Water, Category Three, which is usually illustrated by the ripple sequence from Draining Away by Mazy Reynard and Shey Talbot. Raspara's mother drowned in a ship's swimming-pool on a VUE benefit cruise in the Indian Ocean.

2) I know I've made some very poor decisions recently, but I can give you my complete assurance that my work will be back to normal. I've still got the greatest enthusiasm and confidence in the mission. And I want to help you. 2001

3) That's enough, Baron. Turn it off. No one's impressed with your cheesy light show, okay? The Cat Returns

4) The story of bird migration is the story of promise - a promise to return. Winged Migration

5) I'm tired of trying to segregate, integrate, and masturbate anymore! Coonskin

6) I've been up and down the four corners of this big old world. I've seen it all and I've done it all. I've fought many a good man, and I've laid many a good woman.

7) Maybe there ain't no sin and there ain't no virtue, they's just what people does. Some things folks do is nice and some ain't so nice, and that's all any man's got a right to say. Grapes of Wrath

8) If you wanna be profound, if you really gotta justify, take a breath and look around, a lot of folks deserve to die! Little Shop of Horrors

9) When you look for the bad in mankind expecting to find it, you surely will.

10) Shep, whatthefuckyadoin'? I'm banging that girl! Fargo

11) What makes you happy? What makes you happy? Where do you go? Where do you go? Where do you hide? Where do you hide? Who do you see? Who do you see? Who do you trust? Who do you trust? Who do you screw? Who do you screw? What kills the pain? What kills the pain? Game up, game win. Bug around, set it straight. Transaction. Play it hard, hurts so bad. Gotta win. Everyone loses. Everthing loses. Gotta win big. Sick and tired of losing. Where does it all go? Where does it all go? Where does it lead us? Where does it lead us? Tilt City, Pinball Alley. Blinkin' lights shot to Hell, fuck it all! Heavy Traffic

12) Is this something negative, Priscilla? Because if it's negative, I can't even deal with it right now. I'm a broke, pissed off nigger from Chicago, and I'm down to my last cigar. How to get the man's foot outta your ass, Baaaadaaaasss

13) I suppose the life of an anorexic duck doesn't amount to much in the broad scheme of things.

14) I guess it was like expecting a million people a year to go to New Jersey to Chemicalworld, or a million people going to Valdez, Alaska for Exxonworld. Some people just don't like to celebrate human tragedy while on vacation.

15) Hold on to your butts. Jurassic Park

(ok the last one was a given but I had a HELL of a time thinking of fifteen movies I loved)

HAPPY PRESIDENTS DAY

2008-02-15T06:07:41Z

syntheticjesso, somehow Tesla found her way to my house. I don't know how it happened, I think she heard me pouring rice milk and came running. Santo does the same thing sometimes!

Send me your address and I'll ship this little lady back home!

GOOD NEWS

2008-02-12T04:28:31Z

QUICK UPDATE: the change in dietary restrictions is actually helping and I feel healthy again and smile city

THAT IS ALL

UGH

2008-02-01T01:26:09Z

Doctor prescribed One month sans gluten

I already can't have Soy or Milk

WHAT THE FUCK CAN I EAT NOW

goddamnit stomach make up your fucking MIND >:(