Big ol' romslut ([info]mia_d) wrote,
@ 2006-07-10 22:21:00
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They'll Do it Every Time


They'll Do It Every Time, is a humorous look at human hypocrisy, inconsistencies or one of the quirky twists of fate that beleaguer us all.

Originated in 1929 by Jimmy Hatlo, a sports cartoonist for The Call-Bulletin in San Francisco, the feature was created on the spur of the moment when a syndicated cartoon was lost in the mail. The cartoon soon attracted the attention of readers, who submitted their own examples of human foibles. Current cartoonist, Al Scaduto has been on the strip for more than 30 years now.

I've recently discovered this comic, wherein readers send in their complaints about people's behavoir.

You guys?

It is pretty great.



Fucking doctor fucks don't know shit

This comic is stuck in the 1930's. It's a little tiny time machine back to comics past, where men wore fedoras and people fell the hell down anytime someone told a punchline.

That office is the DAILY FUCKING PLANET from the Fleischer Superman cartoons. NO COMPUTERS, NO TELEPHONES, NO CUBICLES.

Just books.

BOOKS.

Also of note: OH, YEAH as modern slang. Please remember that.

PLEASE.

(it will be important later)


that minor inconvenience aged little Johnny by 46 years in a panel

FAT AND SKINNY IN PLAYGROUND FROLICS

FOR ALL YOU FAT AND SKINNY FANS

ALL OF YOU

WHO LOVE

FAT

AND

SKINNY

they are STRAIGHT UP going to do some frolicing but OH SHIT

OHH SHIT it's on late at night oh what are you going to do WHY DON'T THEY SHOW THAT WHEN THE KIDS ARE AWAKE

WHY CAN'T MY KIDS SEE

FAT

AND

SKINNY

(in)

PLAYGROUND

FUCKING

FROLICS

oh hello 1980's I remember your jokes

Modern fashion CONFUSES Grandma. FADED JEANS? WHY DO YOU KIDS WEAR THAT? WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?

I AM GRANDMA AND I AM SO GODDAMN OLD

WHERE IS MY FUCKING MEDICATION YOU ASSHOLES

INNACURATE DESCRIPTIONS OF THE WEATHER MAKE ME SO MAD THAT I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE

His coffee is doing a spit take. His coffee is so MAD that it can't take it anymore. He is staring directly at you because this ad, which reads like something they'd air during a 1940's gameshow where the guests would smoke and drink and make dirty jokes, IS LYING.

THE WEATHER WILL BE MILD

BUT THIS AD FOR SOME SORT OF MAGIC OIL SAYS OTHERWISE

OH

YEAH

fucking goddamn office fucks don't know shit

WHERE ARE THE COMPUTERS? How are they supposed to do work? Are they all in DETENTION? Is the complaint that all the nurses are in detention and GODDAMNIT why can't they come out to PLAY?

Again, this comic was published and writte THIS VERY YEAR. This comic is not from some old magazine dusty with age and rotted away, this comic is in YOUR VERY NEWSPAPER.

PERHAPS YESTERDAY

I can't even tell what the complaint is. Is it that NOT ENOUGH PEOPLE ARE NURSES? I mean, I guess that's valid but why blame it on people in accounting? What's wrong with accountants? Maybe they don't like blood but love numbers and LADY WHY ARE YOU SO MAD

grandma is looking so fresh and SASSY about this medication issue

Man you're not even TRYING anymore, They'll Do it Everytime. YOU ARE OBVIOUSLY FOR GRANDMA

AND

HER

ILK

Also I think Grandpa is high but that's just a wild guess

also slow: snails, model T cars, cod liver oil, social security checks

Hair Tonic.

HAIR TONIC.

HAIR TONIC

HAIR TONIC

This comic was published THIS YEAR.

I mean

HAIR TONIC

(OH, YEAH)

man FUCK YOU BITCH I SPENT TWELVE HOURS ON THIS GODDAMN CAKE AND YOU SAY THAT OH HELL NO I AM GOING TO FUCKING KILL YOU I SURVIVED THE GODDAMN WAR FOR THIS

And this is pretty much the only reason I posted this entry

PACKAGE MIX YOU TO THE MOON

the

MOON

You guys

(you guys)

Never piss me off

(ever ok?)

Because you know?

You know what?

I will

PACKAGE

MIX

YOUR

GODDAMN

FACE

TO

THE

MOON

and their AINT a damn thing you can do about it


(Post a new comment)


[info]beeblebabe
2006-07-11 04:34 am UTC (link)
this dude introduced me to this comic, and oh yeah! it's amazing. Also check out 'Pluggers', which isn't as packaged mixing you to the moon, but still worth the ride.

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[info]mia_d
2006-07-11 04:38 am UTC (link)
yeah, I read that BLOG as well and that's how I found it. But there's so many great ones he never links to

like PACKAGE MIX TO THE MOON

(as for pluggers: This whole entry was brought about because I was discussing pluggers with a friend and I was all PLUGGERS IS TERRIBLE BUT WHAT ABOUT THEY'LL DO IT EVERYTIME)

(Reply to this) (Parent)

[info]sarasizuf
2008-07-17 09:29 am UTC (link)
Do you want me to run out and get some methadone. Or do you just want some smack. I’m in love with a silly ol’ junkie, yes I am.

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[info]zartan
2006-07-11 04:34 am UTC (link)
J'EVER WONDER -- WHY IT IS THE "FUNNY PAGES" ARE FULL OF COMICS FROM BEFORE YOUR PARENTS WERE BORN -- AND THEY DON'T MAKE A COTTON-PICKIN' LICK OF SENSE TO ANYBODY WHO CAN STILL BEND AT THE WAIST??

BUT -- JUST WATCH THAT "LETTERS TO THE EDITOR" COLUMN IF THE PAPERS TRY TO YANK 'EM -- OH, YEAH!

(Thanx to MIA D, AUSTIN, TX)

(Reply to this) (Thread)
Hah!
[info]theotherbaldwin
2006-07-11 11:30 am UTC (link)
Zartan, for the win.

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[info]sngingcircusdog
2006-07-11 09:49 pm UTC (link)
Someone should actually send that complaint in to this comic.

See if they print it!

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[info]yamo
2006-07-11 04:36 am UTC (link)
On the plus side, how many other comics give you all the information you need to track down and kill the people responsible? I can be out the door and throttling Arnie Hague of Edmonds, WA within five minutes. Can't say that for the Marmaduke guy.

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(Reply from suspended user)

[info]spinner_8
2006-07-11 04:41 am UTC (link)
MEMORIES'D

mia I am going to say "OH, YEAH!" basically forever and you will get so sick of it

(Reply to this) (Thread)

[info]masterhibb
2006-07-11 04:57 am UTC (link)
OH, YEAH?

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[info]woekitten
2006-07-11 04:46 am UTC (link)
Ha ha ha! Directions are printed in small type so we can confuse and kill off our elderly! Sure, our generation is the dumbest ever 'cause of all our dag-nabbed video games, but Grandma's comics have their punchlines repeated three times because it's sophisticated humour or something.

I've never seen this mess in a Canadian newspaper, though. I think our definitive Grandma comic is still Family Circus. It just won't die, unlike Grandma. (Sigh.)

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[info]masterhibb
2006-07-11 04:55 am UTC (link)
HURRR! COMPUTERS ARE NEW AND SCARY AND IMPOSSIBLE!

How many of those were there? Life was so much simpler before computers came and fucked everything up. People used to go to the office and just read.

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[info]sallybanner
2006-07-11 04:58 am UTC (link)
i like how the kids in the fat and skinny one look like grandmas too. in the daily planet office, the ladies are in front of typewriters for godssake, because they are SECRETARIES, not like the big shot journalists. also, TYPEWRITERS. oh yeah!

he has his email on the cartoon, maybe someone prints them out every day so he can read them.

(Reply to this) (Thread)

[info]bitterwinters
2006-07-11 02:11 pm UTC (link)
I noticed that his email is ALSCADUTO2@optiononline.net. J'EVER WONDER WHAT HAPPENED TO THE FIRST AL SCADUTO?

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[info]zartan
2006-07-11 02:17 pm UTC (link)
Optiononline.net is a pretty fuckin' seedy choice for a guy whose bread and butter is complaining about the problems:

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[info]gladstone
2006-07-12 04:20 am UTC (link)
optonline.net, not optiononline.net.

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[info]snoozenstein
2006-07-11 05:09 am UTC (link)
Hahaha, oh man. In some of these comics we see something APPROACHING modern life, but it's always got one CRUCIAL FLAW

like the TV in the FAT AND SKINNY one
(IS IT JUST ME OR DOES THAT THING HAVE FUCKING KNOBS.)

KEEP YOUR HOUSE WARM WITH GODDAMN OIL BECAUSE I GUESS WE'RE ALL ESKIMOS???

so confused :(

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[info]citric_acidic
2006-07-11 05:13 am UTC (link)
I didn't know grandmas were still depressed about faded jeans. They've been in that funk for years! Oh grandmas, people will wear nice jeans again some day, just you wait.

(Reply to this) (Thread)

[info]citric_acidic
2006-07-11 05:15 am UTC (link)
Also: Since when did grandpas wear three piece suits ALL THE TIME? Like, seriously grandpa, you don't need to be so dressed up when going jean shopping, or watching Eskimo Ad TV.

(Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)

[info]zartan
2006-07-11 05:30 am UTC (link)
Eskimos are all goddamned jerks

(Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)

[info]masterhibb
2006-07-11 02:24 pm UTC (link)
My favorite part is where they have to define (explain) "inundate." It's literature (books). The audience (reader) should have at least a modicum (bit) of knowledge (understanding) about the lexicon (words) of your own language (talky-speak).

(Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)

[info]embobly
2006-07-11 04:42 pm UTC (link)
hehehe, talkyspeak

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[info]kidfenris
2006-07-11 05:44 am UTC (link)
But Grandma somehow knows about the Hubble Telescope, which was launched in 1990.

And that would be THE FUTURE of this comic strip.

Also, why would the cake lady be mad? She could just say something like NO, MRS. CUNTINGTON, I MADE THIS CAKE FROM SCRATCH and thereby close off that potentially insulting avenue of discussion.

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[info]bbh
2006-07-11 06:03 am UTC (link)
"HOWCUM?"

why are they letting this comic strip get away with such blatant vulgarity?!

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[info]nachitor
2006-07-11 06:07 am UTC (link)
But why DO jeans with holes and fading cost more than real jeans?!

INQUIRING MINDS WANT TO KNOW!

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[info]graymalkn
2006-07-11 08:54 am UTC (link)
Mia, it is posts like this that remind me why you are still friended after all these years. Oh yeah!

(Reply to this) (Thread)

[info]mia_d
2006-07-11 04:08 pm UTC (link)
Hah, yeah this post is SO OLD SCHOOL MIA

(Reply to this) (Parent)

[info]potlan
2006-07-11 11:22 am UTC (link)
It's the comma in OH, YEAH! that gets me. It sounds like the Kool Aid man just realized something.

(Reply to this) (Thread)

[info]smeg_
2006-07-11 03:26 pm UTC (link)
I keep hearing it as Randy Savage.

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[info]halfassured
2006-07-12 07:21 pm UTC (link)
For me it's Duffman, but Randy Savage is good too.

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[info]anne_jumps
2006-07-11 01:09 pm UTC (link)
That jeans one IS my dad.

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[info]zk273
2006-07-11 01:19 pm UTC (link)
One question: How exactly does one package mix someone to the moon? O_o

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[info]bitterwinters
2006-07-11 02:03 pm UTC (link)
Grandma I am very sorry that medication bottles aren't as big as economy-sized boxes of oatmeal I will write my congressman :(

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T
[info]miraclejackson
2006-07-11 02:43 pm UTC (link)
Jimmy Hatlo also did a strip called "Hatlo's Inferno" which is basically "They'll Do It Every Time"... in Hell.




Needless to say, it rules.

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[info]smeg_
2006-07-11 03:28 pm UTC (link)
Does everyone in Hell wear a toga? Hell seems kinda cool.

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[info]embobly
2006-07-11 04:43 pm UTC (link)
hehehehehehehe.

Cum

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FAT AND SKINNY GET NO RESPECT FROM THE NETWORKS!
[info]caminante
2006-07-11 10:09 pm UTC (link)
I think one of my grandfather's friends died of a heart attack laughing at that comic. Make fun of it all you want, but this comic is really killing our old people.

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[info]halfassured
2006-07-12 02:15 am UTC (link)
They're not grandmas, they're oldsters.

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[info]zephyrcrow
2006-07-12 05:19 am UTC (link)
OH GOD CAN'T STOP THE LOLZ

I am going to marry this guy and satisfy my sick, sick gerontophilia fetish. OH, YEAH

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[info]sossajes
2006-07-12 02:32 pm UTC (link)
They used to carry this in the Boston Herald which is a paper for retards and also grandmas who like to get all worked up about issues and then forget them in favor of getting irate about KIDS TODAY or happy about GRANDCHILD PICTURES. Frankly, I really look forward to being like that. I already get fussy about seeing preteens wearing low-rise jeans so I'm about five years away from full-blown grandma-ness.

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(Anonymous)
2006-07-12 02:42 pm UTC (link)
This is hilarious! I love your style of mocking. More, please!

-- Rich

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TDIET
(Anonymous)
2006-07-12 05:04 pm UTC (link)
Please keep doing this!!!

BTW, the current artist is approximately 80 years old. Explains a lot, no?

(Reply to this)


[info]captyashiro
2006-07-12 06:14 pm UTC (link)
J'EVER NOTICE? THIS NEW CHARLIE PARKER GUY ALL THE YOUNGSTERS ARE LISTENING TO....

ALL HE DOES IS PLAY THE TRUMPET REALLY FAST, AND HE CAN'T EVEN PLAY A SONG THE SAME WAY 2 TIMES IN A ROW!

WE ASK, HOWCUM?

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[info]jenny0
2006-07-12 06:18 pm UTC (link)
I don't understand the Fat & Skinny gripe -- is it that kids' movies are shown at kid-inappropriate times? Or is it that porn movies have Disney-esque names? Because the second one is just funny.

(hello! visitor from Comics Curmudgeon-land)

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[info]rebl1969
2006-07-13 12:12 am UTC (link)
Hey, I found you via Comics Curmudgeon, and I see by your friends list that you know [info]kookbox, who is extra-cool, so I am going to friend you on the basis of your obvious good taste in, like, things. Hope that's OK.

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[info]laura_redcloud
2006-07-22 10:26 pm UTC (link)
Seriously, this is the best live journal entry I have ever seen.

(Reply to this)

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